


T'was lit  (The story of a Grape and a Clown)

by clever_and_relevant_username



Category: IT - Stephen King, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And this is my first fic here too oof, Crack, Crack Crossover, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't know if this is the worst or best thing I've ever written, Other, Pennywise and Thanos are lovers, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Swearing, This Is STUPID, Thor (Marvel) - Freeform, so much swearing, this is so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21818302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clever_and_relevant_username/pseuds/clever_and_relevant_username
Summary: When Earth is threatened by an unknown force, and Peter's mentor/surrogate dad won't tell him what that force is, The Amazing Spiderman will have to take things into his own hands.  And by that I mean he uses another alien.((This is so chaotic, I'm sorry.  It's just a crack fic, please enjoy.))
Relationships: Pennywise (IT)/Thanos (Marvel), Pennywise/Thanos, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	T'was lit  (The story of a Grape and a Clown)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> This is purely crack, it isn't to be taken seriously (unless you want to.)
> 
> More notes at the end...
> 
> I don't know man, I'm just sorry

T’was a dark day in Earth’s history. 

Thanos, in all of his punk bitch glory, had invaded earth. Earth’s mightiest heroes had been too busy either running from the law or trying to prevent Thanos from invading to really prevent this from happening. There was a great fight approaching and no happy ending in sight.

Peter Parker sat on a school bus. It was a very unpleasant place to be, especially when there’s something big and dangerous on the horizon and Mr. Stark won’t tell you what it is. But it be like that sometimes and Peter couldn’t do anything about it. That’s when, instead of a sky-doughnut descending from the depths of space, and idea descended from the depths of Peter’s brain. He asked his dear bro Ned to cover for him, grabbed his bag and his Spiderman mask, and swung out the window. It was an unnecessary move, but in the words of the arachnid himself, “Just because I have Spidey Sense, doesn’t mean I have common sense.”

The little spider swung as fast as he could to the apartment he shared with his aunt. Something big was coming, probably from space, so how could they fight that? If this thing was making Mr. Stark lose his mind/sleep/sanity/etc. then it must be pretty bad. Bad enough that the Avengers couldn’t combat it alone. For weeks, Peter tried to come up with a solution, a weapon or something, anything that could help, and this was it! It was all coming together. All Peter needed to do was call some friends…

T’was still a dark day in Earth’s history. But let’s be honest, what day after the end of 2015 wasn’t a dark day in Earth’s history? Probably the day Pokemon Go was released.

But unfortunately, all the Pokemon in the Marvel universe had been asleep for a few centuries and were unable to help in the fight against Thanos.

The grape bitch was attacking viciously, but at least every Avenger was on Earth and fighting him (including Thor, and his new friends, the Guardians of the Galaxy, all of whom had crash-landed from space. It was fabulous, trust me.) 

Despite Thor’s fabulous entrance, all hope seemed lost. Mr. Stark had been stabbed, Captain America had been punched a whole lot, and Rocket was sad because Bucky didn’t want to sell his arm. And Thanos. Thanos was being a mega-bitch. That’s when the cavalry arrived, someone, or rather something that would take Thanos from being the mega-bitch, and make him into a mega-bitch.

“Thanos?” The voice, strange and scratchy was quiet, although Thanos heard it as a shout, a scream of his name. The speaker may have been across the field, but Thanos heard it in his ear, intimately as a whisper, but fierce as a war cry. The voice of a former lover.

“Pennywise?” 

Everything froze. Thanos’s posey, the Avengers, everyone but Pennywise the Dancing Clown, and the teenager that lead him across the field on a leash. 

Peter Parker stood back and admired his handiwork. After calling in a favor from a friend in Maine, his friend, who now lead the clown across the battlefield on a leash, was able to get some help from a ragtag gang of clown-hunters to catch and leash Pennywise. He also assumed that one or more of the clown hunters had driven them there, judging by the Honda Civic at the edge of the Wakandan battlefield. Wakanda was too good for Honda, meaning that the car was from somewhere else. Peter was pulled from his very important thoughts when Pennywise and Thanos met in the middle, Peter’s friend still holding Pennywises’s leash.

“Pennywise… I-I haven’t seen you in so long… I thought you were-”

“I know.”

“I searched the galaxy for you! I-I killed so many in your name, I know you like death,”

“Thanos, I love death.” Pennywise interrupted. 

The bystanders were looking on in confusion. What in the actual fuck was going on? The only one with even a vague idea at this point was Peter, who had done his research. After hearing about his friend from Maine’s experiences, the boy did some googling. He figured the best way to defeat an alien from space, was an alien who lived on Earth for a really long time. Even so, it was only his intrusive thoughts that had even suggested that the two aliens could have been lovers. The rest of his mind could barely comprehend that show taking place before him.

Thanos had moved his hands to Pennywise’s back, holding him in as much of an embrace as he could with the teen still holding the clown’s leash, “You know,” Thanos said, “I used to put a leash on you.”

One of Thanos’s hands moved to the leash on the clown’s neck, as Pennywise let out what could only be described as a moan? Maybe? It didn’t really matter, at this point everyone except for the two aliens was confused and uncomfortable. It was this moment that the couple decided that they could not be apart for a moment longer and started making out in the middle of the battlefield like a couple of horny teens.

It was beautiful, it was disgusting, Thor almost threw up.  
Needless to say, this was one of the weirdest days in Earth’s history.

“Okay, okay, no, stop-” Mr. Stark started before Peter, the mastermind behind this disgusting display stopped him.

“Nonononono, wait, Mr. Stark, while he’s distracted, we can destroy the stones!”

Mr. Stark looked at Peter as if the teenage boy was the son he never had (something he did often,) before setting the Avengers to work. Seeing as Thonos’s gang was too distracted by their leader snogging the shit out of a dirty clown, the stones were destroyed quickly and efficiently. The Avengers were finally working as a team, and all it took was a clown-grape romance. 

The last stone was destroyed, and the clown and the grape were still going at it.

“What do you say we kill these fuckers?” Mr. Stark asked. Everyone nodded, and then together, like a family, they went for the head. (Nebula was the one to actually kill him, but they did it as a family. These facts are equally important.)

Pennywise looked shocked at the sudden death of his lover. The clown fell to his knees, leash still around him and face pointed to the ground.

“You,” the clown began, “YOU KILLED HIM!!!”

Pennywise jumped up in a single sudden movement, before baring his sharp teeth. Thanos’s army ran back to their ships and evacuated as the clown began to screech at an ungodly volume, “I’LL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU!!! YOUR FEAR WILL TASTE SO-”

And then someone threw a turtle at him.

I don’t know who it was, I’m sorry. 

It wasn’t Peter, Peter was with Mr. Stark and Cap, and he distinctly did not have any turtles on him.

My money’s on Loki.

The audience looked at the carnage on the ground at their feet. It was an odd sight; a large purple bitch, and a dirty ass-clown with a leash still in the hands of a teenage boy who seemed completely unphased by all this bullshit. 

“Should we bury them?”

“No.” Peter spoke, “They were monsters. We should give them the treatment of monsters.”

“Be careful,” Tony said, “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.”

“And when you gaze long enough into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you,” Peter was calm as he spoke, lighting a match that he got from who knows where, “Well I hope the abyss likes what it sees.”

Peter Parker threw down the match and lit the bodies ablaze.

Then he high-fived his friend from Maine, and suddenly everything was cool again. The Avengers helped to clean the Wakandan battlefield, and everything was chill, and no one died except for the grape and the clown. T’was lit.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> SO.
> 
> THAT WAS A THING.
> 
> Well, for my first fic here, I don't think it was too bad. Is it a chaotic mess? Oh fuck yeah. But that was sort of the point I guess. I will eventually post serious stuff here, but for now, there's this. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Ok, thanks, bye!


End file.
